Depression and the family

Depression is such a broad phenomenon. It covers so many things. Some people think it is just clinical depression that you should be looking out for when thinking about depression generally, but in fact clinical depression varies and is exhibited in all kinds of forms. Anxiety, loss of appetite, lack of desire to do something that you once loved, even lack of a sexual drive are all signs of depression. I'm not an expert or clinical psychologist but I've lived a little life and I’ve learned throughout my many different stages of life how you can fall in depression over things and you can really have a hard time coping with situations. Situational depression is one thing but if you’re not paying attention, it could also lead to a lifestyle of depression where you're in a funk for two and three years and it's the reason why I'm bringing this up today.

In our empowerment zone group, we use fitness as a foundation to improve other areas of our lives. We support each other not just in our fitness journey but also in our daily struggles with work and family and kids and friends and all that other kind of stuff. We have a mother and daughter team that's in the group and we found ourselves talking about a breakthrough that they made in their relationship with regard to the depression that the daughter was suffering at the same time that the mom was suffering from depression but they were dealing with it in different ways. The daughter revealed was that she had come to the mom on several occasions as a teenager to discuss feelings she was having and these dark places that she found herself in. The mom was always so preoccupied with something else.

During that perilous time in both the mom and the daughter’s life, the mom was just doing everything in her power and working around the clock just to ensure that her daughter is safe, getting three squares, has clothes on her back but with very little support. Even though the mom was married to her daughter’s father, the dad was not really doing all that he could he to support the family so the burden was on the mom. To hear the mom explain it, he had a weird job that some weeks he'd work he'd work ten hours a week other weeks he'd work 80 hours and it made it difficult for them financially never knowing what their what their situation would look like.

The mom shared with us that she was working two-three jobs at any given while going to school to try and just keep everything together because at the end of the day, she wants to take care of the daughter. Unfortunately, while her mom is there sometimes and not there a lot, the daughter tried to confront this and tried to explain her depression to her mom. Since the daughter couldn't get her mom's attention, the daughter found other ways to cope.

The good news is that when the mom and the daughter finally had the conversation years later, the mom finally got clarity. She understood that as much as she wanted to provide for her daughter and make sure everything stayed afloat and even though she was going through her own thing, if she had a chance to do it all over again, she would most definitely be paying attention to her daughter. She started listening to her and they both were talking through the issues that the daughter was feeling and get her into therapy.

I share this because I think it is an amazing story. First of all, these groups are really great when we have the opportunity to help each other in a profound way. We can talk about these issues in private we don't share them with anybody and we end up empowering people to live happy, fulfilling lives. I'm bringing this your attention because depression is a real thing. Depression is something that you really have to address as parents, especially when you profess that everything that you are doing is for your kids. This is what I heard often during our conversations in the group. “Everything that I did and every day I got up was guided by how can I make this easier for her? I just don't want her to suffer like I suffered. I don't want her to go through what I'm going through.” What the mom in our group learned is, at the end of the day when your child is in front of you and needs to talk to you need to pay attention. I’m a parent too so clearly, I empathized with her. I know our kids don’t come with manuals. I do think there is a lesson to be learned here for parents of teenagers that are going through a lot of different things. Teenagers by virtue of the fact that they're teenagers are just going through a lot as they discover who they are. Their hormones are all over the place and sometimes they don't have somewhere to channel all this energy. They're just trying to learn about all that’s going on with them. So as parents, we sometimes have to drop everything. We might have a presentation for the CEO that's due tomorrow morning. At the end of the day, whatever you are doing, you're doing that for your kid. I just feel like when your kid tells you that they're depressed, when their kid when your kid tells you that they're feeling sad, when your kid tells you that something is bothering them, don't say ‘not now’. Do yourself a favor. You don't have to listen to me. Listen to your kids. I think it'll be good for you to understand them. So when they are in crisis, you will be the first to know. It’s critical!

At the end of the day, we want to provide our kids with the best life possible but let me tell you one of the things that your kids treasure the most as they're growing up and when they become an adult. They're going to remember the time they spent with you. They're going to remember that time you said ‘not now’ and it's going to impact them in a very negative way and it's going to contribute to years of depression and wondering why they're not enough and why they were never enough. I lived it as a kid growing up. God bless my parents. I didn’t come with a manual either. I think that they did the best that they could. However, during my adult life, I was dealing with a lot of issues of abandonment as a result of hearing ‘not now’ one too many dang times. So, I could so relate to this young lady who was sharing her story. The mother and daughter are in a better place. Thank God for His mercy that they went through what they went through together and separately and still ended up being the best of friends. Now that's a blessing and God's grace in an abundant way. I'm so happy for them and I'm so happy that they're doing this group together because it's going to help them continue to heal in ways that maybe they haven't explored yet. The daughter feels validated now and the mom is learning to forgive herself. It's a beautiful thing to watch. I'm blessed to be able to witness that and just kind of guide that process. It really is them they're doing this together and it's a beautiful thing so I'm glad that I could be part of it.

At the end of the day, if you're a mom or a dad with teenage kids or young kids and they come to you anytime and talk about feeling sad or feeling a certain kind of way just stop what you're doing for a second, look them in the eyes and say ‘baby girl, (baby boy) tell me what's going on’. That is going to mean the absolute world to them. Just remember as busy as we are as parents remember who you're doing it for. It's not an easy job raising kids and having to work outside the home, building a business and finishing your education. Trust me, been there, done that. Remember, what your kids want the most is your time to hear them tell their silly story, to hear them tell you what's wrong, okay?

So if this article was helpful, please share it. Please talk about it. Please let me know if you know a busy parent that's dealing with depression and relationship issues with their kids. Share this article with them and hopefully it'll help. Hopefully it'll give them some perspective. Hopefully this article gave you some perspective because I know I learned a lot of lessons raising my own baby girl and listening to this dynamic between this mom and daughter in my group and being a kid raised with a disconnect from my parents. So I know how incredibly valuable this can be to those who think there is no hope for their relationships with their kids. Please share and comment below let me know what you think. I'll talk to you soon.

Is multi-level marketing a real business?

This is such a taboo subject to write about and discuss but I think that is because there is also a lot of confusion around Network Marketing and how it is mistaken for what is known as Pyramid Schemes. In my humble opinion, I believe a lot of people want nothing to do with it because there are a lot of misconceptions of what network marketing actually is and what it is not. I would like to take a moment to dispel some myths about this business model and if nothing else, provide a better understanding of why it is a valuable source for a side income. 

Have you ever felt like there's never enough like no matter how much money you make? Even when you take that promotion, get that raise in pay doesn't it always seems like the harder you work and  the more you try to climb up the ladder, there's always a thing associated with that come up that is just draining you financially and you can’t seem to get ahead? I think that’s what happens to most of us. Let's just be all the way real... that's most of us. On the other hand, there's a lot of us work two and three jobs just to keep food on the table. We could all use a part-time job.  I've been there, done that and I got the t-shirt, coffee mug, writing pad and pen to match, ok? But is network marketing really a better way?

Let me just be all the way real, ok?  There's a lot of stigma attached to this network marketing thing. But I think you gotta go into any new situation with your eyes wide open. You also gotta go into it with a certain amount of optimism and belief in yourself and what it is you are capable of doing given the opportunity. So, let me just dispel some of the myths and confusion because honestly a lot of the misunderstanding of network marketing and pyramid schemes is not based in fact or supports the legal definition of either. So what’s the difference between a network marketing company and a pyramid scheme?

Pyramid schemes are, first and foremost, ILLEGAL. So, the long and short of it is, if you ain't got no (yeah, bad grammar, my bad) product to sell but you’re selling people a promise on being able to make money, you’re probably in a pyramid scheme. If you can't make no money unless you have a bunch of people investing and you rely on those investments to make money, you’re probably involved in a pyramid scheme. If only the people who are at the top or the first to invest are making the most money in the business, you are probably involved in a pyramid scheme.

The defining factor about pyramid schemes is that there is no product or service involved and your return on investment relies entirely on people who sign up after you to invest and you get a piece of the sign up fee. Therefore, there is a ceiling on the amount of money you can make. In other words, people are giving money to something but there's no exchange of products or services.   So, if you’re #500 of five hundred people that invested in a “business” where no product or service exists, you're never gonna make as much money as the first person.  That’s the makings of a pyramid scheme my friends. Here's where those pyramid schemes comes up short …if for any reason the person who's doing all  the recruiting can't bring nobody else and those “early investors”, top people don't get paid, people get mad. They should because the entire enterprise is biased toward the first to enter scheme. That is why it is illegal.

This could be confusing to some people when you think about how traditional business is operated every day.   If you think about early investors in like Amazon, you recognize that when the stock sold at $5 a share (just an example probably not the actual price) early investors are now wealthy and someone who bought stock today at about $2,000 a share (approximate value as of the date of this writing)  is not going to make as much money unless Amazon comes up with something so extraordinary that it shoots the stock price sky high. 

I can't tell you how many times how much wanted to kick myself for not putting my $5 when they had their initial public offering. I had already been spending money on textbooks and trading textbooks on Amazon for years during my college years. I was doing a lot of business with Amazon and I wish I invested because I knew what that what they were offering in 2002 was an example of innovation in the online space.  However, you have to keep something in mind…if a company is particularly successful over a period of time, their stock prices will rise. All kinds of things influence the price of stock.  So as long as Amazon remains profitable, those first investors will continue to reap the most profit.

Here’s the thing…Amazon has a product to sell to the end user.  Therefore, investors will receive a dividend from their investment as a result of sales revenue and innovation.  So, this should clarify the legitimacy of companies like Amazon and frankly, network marketing companies.

So, for people who think that network marketing are pyramid schemes on the basis that only the people that get in first make the most money, I have to say, you’re argument is weak at best. We have a legitimate system that people invest in every day called the stock market and a concept called first to market. First to market is when a company is first to bring product to the market that meets the need of the consumer.  When a company is successful at that, they will get the benefits of the first fruits as they should.  Once other companies get wind of what is going on, and create their own version of the original product, the profits becomes more evenly distributed based on the successful execution of the other companies that enter the market afterward.  In fact, companies that come afterward, if they are really good at what they do, they may even over run the company that was first to market. It's capitalism at its best.  In this principle alone, I argue that network marketing companies become more credible.

Now I can’t say that all network companies are created equal.  In my partnership agreement, NO ONE, no matter when you became a distributor, holds the market on how much money can be made or whether the first to arrive will continue to make the most money in comparison to those who join the company after they did. First fruits may belong to the first to get into the business but if they are not working hard to corner the market on profits they are not guaranteed to make the most money in the long term.  

In my company, there are some people who came in at the beginning are either not there anymore or they are not engaged in the business and therefore, are not making any money or not nearly as much as people who came in 5 years ago who are committed to becoming a millionaire and succeeds. I know that there are probably other companies out there but I can't really speak to those because I am not involved with those companies. What I do know from my own experience is that as a new distributor, you can make money in retail (selling products to customers) and building team (people on your team also sell to customers and build teams of their own). Network marketing (aka multi-level marketing) is defined on the FTC website as follows:

Multi-level marketing is one form of direct selling. Generally, a multi-level marketer (MLM) distributes products or services through a network of salespeople who are not employees of the company and do not receive a salary or wage. Instead, members of the company’s salesforce usually are treated as independent contractors, who may earn income depending on their own revenues and expenses. Typically, the company does not directly recruit its salesforce, but relies upon its existing salespeople to recruit additional salespeople, which creates multiple levels of “distributors” or “participants” organized in “downlines.” A participant’s “downline” is the network of his or her recruits, and recruits of those recruits, and so on. (ftc.com)

 Like most businesses, network marketing is a business model where there is a product or service in exchange for an investment from the distributor or sales person.  If you decide to become a distributor, you are going to pay a nominal sign-up fee and possibly buy some products at sign up.  However, the purchase of products is not a requirement to become a distributor with my company. Other companies may have different rules. Having said that, it only makes common sense that if you sign up to distribute a product for a company that you are actually a consumer of the product. 

This is where a lot of the confusion lies with some apparent similarities between network marketing and pyramid schemes. Incoming team members in network marketing are placed under the recruiter in a binary structure, such as it is in my company. For skeptics, the pyramid shape of a binary structure is seemingly not differentiated from the investment for no product or service exchange that is characteristic in illegal pyramid schemes. However, the appearance of a binary structure is where the similarities to a scheme begins and ends.

Now, I want to be very clear… there is a some language in the FTC explanation that says if the bulk of your income is gonna come from building the team that doesn't consume the products then there is a question of whether the company is a network marketing company or the makings of a pyramid scheme. I can tell you from personal experience that building a team doesn't mean anything if the people that you're building the team with aren't buying products.  Why? Because we are not paid a percentage of fees. Also, by design, the team bonus is significantly smaller than that which a distributor can earn in commission by selling directly to the customer.  On the other hand, you can’t get into the pyramid or Ponzi scheme without a minimum investment when there is no product in exchange.  

In my company, you don’t have to buy product to become a team member.  It’s a little less effective from a business perspective but I think what the FTC is concerned with is a company making this a hard and fast rule. I can tell you I have had team members that have never bought anything except for the first time they signed up. There is no team bonus, no commissions or any financial reward when people don’t buy products. No business makes money without repeat business or new customers. No surprise there, right?

There are people in my downline right now that are just sitting there paying a monthly fee just to be a distributor but they're not really taking advantage of the of the wide array of products that'll help them to live a happier, healthier life. They're not doing it so the company does not pay me.  As a business, they are not making any money either.  The monthly fee that they pay goes to the parent company not to me.

I think the key here and where you actually build a business in network marketing is when you have people who are actually buying and using the products that they need and I think that that is the key for skeptics to understand. Like I said, I don't know how other companies do what they do and what the compensation structure looks like elsewhere but what I know about where I'm at.  At the end of the day, you won’t make any money if nobody's buying product. Period. 

When I compare network marketing to traditional business, I find that McDonald's don't make no money if nobody is in the drive thru or the dining room. Staples doesn't make any money if businesses aren’t buying office products. If the company doesn't have a customer and team members are not buying product no one is making money in my network marketing business.

Why should I listen to you?

Having said all of this, you must be asking yourself, “Why should I listen to her?” I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Legal Studies with a concentration in Business Law and Public Policy and a Masters in Business Administration.  One of the fundamental things about the program and my formal training is that you need to know how to do legal research and analysis and critically assess information so that you can come up with a recommendation for your client. Not only have I been formally trained but I've also done compliance work for big companies and universities where I have built compliance programs around doing effective legal research and analysis.

Tips for finding a company to partner with

I have a deep appreciation for doing the research making intelligent decisions on your own based on the facts found in that research.  To be clear, I'm not even advocating that network marketing or any other business model is for everybody because I really don't think everybody should be doing it. However, I do believe that it is for some people who want to create a side income doing something that they actually really, really love and they know can serve people in a profound way AND are willing to work really hard to accomplish that goal. 

So, I think you can find your fit out there among the many opportunities available in a way where you don't have to put up a huge investment.  I think that network marketing is a very economical way to start a business.  

Find leaders who are willing to share their secrets

If you pick the right one, the company will have really good leaders that will share their secrets and teach you some business fundamentals to help you succeed. A company worth its salt is gonna have extensive training in how to build a business and will teach basic business principles with really good leaders in your company that's willing to share what they've learned and implemented to build their business.  

 Do your own research

At the end of the day, do your research and make an educated decision for yourself. Don’t depend on word of mouth and definitely don’t listen to anyone saying that being in business for yourself is easy.  

Follow some people who you know are in network marketing or doing what you like to do you know and see what a day in the life looks like for them.  

Make sure the company and its products align with what you already like

One of the first things I do when I'm exploring a new industry, I evaluate whether it is aligned with the things that I like. So if it's book club, makeup, hair, or fashion accessories, then I'm gonna be looking for somebody who's doing that and doing that well or at least appears to be doing that well. Then, I see if they have a social media outlet (other than the one I found them on) dedicated to talking about the things I like and other topics such as how to start a business or how to create a product or any kind of teaching content. It’s clear they’re really adding value to their community and they're really showing you how to do things.  They're giving you business tips and they share things you need to know and how you need to be thinking about business.

Let me be even more clear.  This article is intended for intelligent, grown folk who are inspired or need to start something on their own and is interested in a low cost of entry in an industry that can turn into a significant income.  This is not intended to try to convince anyone who does not have an entrepreneurial spirit and is not open to learning about better ways to create extra streams of income. Basically, I'm talking to grown folk who are responsible, got homes of their own, got families of their own and they want to make responsible choices in line with those priorities.  I'm talking to those people who are of that age where we can make intelligent decisions about our lives and about the risks were willing to take for the greater good and who want to level up their lives. At the end of the day, don't automatically dismiss network marketing as some kind of scheme or you think the products are overpriced. 

I haven’t addressed this in this article until now, however, I will say this. I think that the differential in the price of the products in network marketing companies and retail markets, is 1) the quality of ingredients, and 2) the time and method it takes to sell the product.  Again, this is my humble opinion based on the company I am with and the “belly to belly” method with which we share and sell products. Personally, I think that mass market products don’t come with 30 day money back guarantees even if you consume all of the product.  They also include a lot of artificial ingredients and fillers in order to sell more, in the least amount of time to the most people.  If they sell it for an inexpensive enough price, most people will at least try it.  However, it is unlikely that you will be able to get your money back if you so much as crack the seal on that product. 

When I tried my first program, I invested because of the money back guarantee.  Frankly, it did what it said it was gonna do if I did what the program directed so I didn’t return it.  I believed in the system so much that I decided to become an advocate.  Then I talked about it when people asked about it because I then became I walking billboard not by harassing friends and family.  I started my business on being an example of what works and I have found that people will invest in what has been proven to work.

It would be worth the investment to find that company that you connect with who has something that you want and that you would enjoy using and consuming. That, in and of itself, for me as a consumer is worthwhile. I think it’s really worthwhile to invest in when you know you can get your money back. So, if the investment to get started as a distributor is $500 and you get a guarantee from them that if it didn't work for you, you can't sell this thing and you can send it back to the company and they’ll give you $500 back, you should go you should definitely invest in that product or service-based company. With my company, you can invest as little as $160, use the products for a month and then go about your business. If you don't like it, return it, cancel your membership and go about your way.  At least you gave yourself and the products and the business a chance and you don’t have the regret of saying ‘what if’.

Bottom Line

A couple of things I want you to take away from this article. First, know the difference between network marketing and a pyramid scheme. Network marketing is legal. Pyramid scheme is not legal. Only people at the top (early investors) make money in a pyramid scheme while this is not necessarily true in network marketing (at least in my company). In my company, some people who came in at the beginning, may not necessarily be making as much as someone who came in 5 years ago. My company has been around for over 20 years the network has been around for 15 years. Someone who came in 12 years ago may very well be making no money at all if they are not treating their business like a business.  Meanwhile, someone coming in a year ago could be killing it and become a multimillionaire.  Your level of income in my business is truly going to depend on what level of time and grind you are willing to invest in it not when you started your business.

Second, pyramid schemes don't have products and services to exchange. Network marketing does. I believe in any business you have to have something to offer people in order to justify the money changing hands between the business and the consumer.  You have to be selling something to be in a legitimate business. There has got to be an exchange of goods and services. As with any legitimate business there is going to be some skin put in the game in order for that business to be profitable at some point. The harder you work in business building activities, the more your reward. Anything worth having is going to require a good amount of hard work. So do your research, be accountable to what it is you're investing in, be smart, use your God-given intelligence to make a good decision for you and your family and don't just listen to what everybody else got to say about what it is you want to do in your business. Make intelligent decisions by doing your own research.

Feel free to get a comprehensive overview of network marketing (multi-level marketing) on the FTC's website. They do a good job of laying out a layman's version of what it is you need to be looking at when deciding to join a company as an independent contractor. Do your research and figure it out for yourself. You don't wanna get yourself involved in mess that is not above board.

So, if you're struggling financially and you need something beyond your full-time job to help ends meet, you need a side hustle and retail ain’t doin’ it for ya, this might be a cost-effective way to get started doing something on your own. It could be something that can be turned into something big, like a legacy for your children. Networking marketing could be something where you should shoot your shot.

Understand that every business, network marketing or traditional business is going to take hard work, determination and time to build into something that can replace your 9 - 5 income. I'm just saying if you think, “I was meant to do something more with my life, damn sure more than the hell I'm doing right now”, then investigate and find something that suits you.  Find something that you love and go for it!

I hope this was helpful and it cleared some of the mystery and misconception about network marketing. If it was helpful, great! Share this article with your community.  Comment below and let me know what you think.  Be constructive, not mean (cuz that doesn’t serve anybody) then we can still be friends.  Subscribe to the blog. There is always more to come.

Connect with me on Instagram and Facebook to view some content there about improving your health, get tips on nutrition, beauty and all kinds of fun stuff. If you want to start something new and interested in what I do, fill out this short questionnaire and let’s set aside some time to chat. Take care.

This Ginger-Lemon Tea... SLAP!

This ginger-lemon tea with honey be hittin! Not only is it deeeeliiiiiicious, but it is full of antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties that strengthens the immune system and reduces the development of free radicals that cause cancer. It’s best when you prepare it at home with fresh ginger root, lemon and raw honey. You can find all of the ingredients at your local market.

Here’s what I do:

Cut about 4 slices of lemon Peel the ginger root and slice about 4 thin slices Measure about a tablespoon or two of honey. Boil about 8-10 oz of water and pour over lemon, ginger and honey in your favorite mug and enjoy.

This truly is an amazing tea. I have a cup of this tea daily around lunch time. I’m still trying to figure out how it keeps me energized and calm at the same damn time. Try it at home and let me know what you think in the comments.

Sources:

https://www.livestrong.com/.../277676-ginger-for-lower.../ https://www.healthline.com/health/ginger-water#takeaway